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Is Driving No Longer an Option?For all adult children, there inevitably - and unfortunately - comes a time when they realize that mom or dad should no longer be behind the wheel. For their own safety and that of others; and of course, your - their adult child’s - peace of mind. There can be a variety of factors: Deteriorating health is an obvious culprit, but even preventative medication can have adverse effects on one’s ability to operate a motor vehicle. And even absent any medical conditions, general age-related decline can have a marked effect on eyesight and reaction-time. Some warning signs of advanced age driving issues include: Forgetting familiar locations or routes; Making delayed or poor decisions; Drifting out of the lane; Driving under the speed limit; Failing to check blind spots; Neglecting to look both ways before entering traffic. |
When You Feel It's Time
Once you have reached the conclusion, you need to recognize that, for your parent, the thought of losing their driving privileges will be embarrassing, traumatic, and maybe even depressing. They will be losing a major source of independence.
The most effective method for broaching the subject is to have a candid talk, seeking to gain Mom or Dad’s voluntary agreement that it is time to consider alternate modes of transportation. State your observations, feelings, and fears honestly. But be empathetic.
AARP offers a program called ‘We Need to Talk’ for families who are concerned about their loved one's ability to drive safely. They offer it in person, or - if there's no location close to you - online.
If all else fails there are ways to get your parent’s keys legally by invoking the counsel of others. But first, consider the following sources of assistance:
Their Physician or Optometrist: Medical doctors are now urged by the American Medical Association (AMA) to offer counsel to caregivers regarding medical and health conditions, side effects of medications and other concerns. The AMA also recommends that they counsel the patient directly and even ask for and accept the car keys. Mature adults often readily accept recommendations by their physicians. Alternatively, the physician may agree to write a medical status report which you can present to your state Department of Motor Vehicles.
The Department of Motor Vehicles: You can meet with DMV representatives to present background and health information and request that Mom or Dad receive a request for new eye tests, written exams, and even a driving test with an inspector. Any subsequent action is then determined by the DMV.
The most effective method for broaching the subject is to have a candid talk, seeking to gain Mom or Dad’s voluntary agreement that it is time to consider alternate modes of transportation. State your observations, feelings, and fears honestly. But be empathetic.
AARP offers a program called ‘We Need to Talk’ for families who are concerned about their loved one's ability to drive safely. They offer it in person, or - if there's no location close to you - online.
If all else fails there are ways to get your parent’s keys legally by invoking the counsel of others. But first, consider the following sources of assistance:
Their Physician or Optometrist: Medical doctors are now urged by the American Medical Association (AMA) to offer counsel to caregivers regarding medical and health conditions, side effects of medications and other concerns. The AMA also recommends that they counsel the patient directly and even ask for and accept the car keys. Mature adults often readily accept recommendations by their physicians. Alternatively, the physician may agree to write a medical status report which you can present to your state Department of Motor Vehicles.
The Department of Motor Vehicles: You can meet with DMV representatives to present background and health information and request that Mom or Dad receive a request for new eye tests, written exams, and even a driving test with an inspector. Any subsequent action is then determined by the DMV.
Be ready for post-license life.
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For the elderly, public transportation can be intimidating and confusing. So it’s helpful for the family to provide or arrange for an alternative to driving; especially when it comes to shopping, appointments, and social outings. At the end of the day, the less your elderly loved one’s life is impacted, the better.
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